The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
For more than seven years, I have been challenging men to make a strong commitment to purity. I am fully convinced that there is no other area that can better demonstrate the kind of men we are or project the kind of men we will become.
Of course, I am far from the only one encouraging such good choices. This morning, I came across the Facebook post of a young man challenging his friends in this area and was so pleased by his effort, that I wanted to share his words with you. Taylor Baumann is a high school senior. I knew him in his elementary school years, when I was privileged to be pastor to him and his family when they lived in our area. Now he’s grown up, lives in Texas, and clearly cares a lot about the choices he sees his buddies making. Read for yourself…
“So, I’ve been hearing a ton of guys do this over relationships: “Dude, my girlfriend is so hot.” And, “I can’t believe she broke up with me. What a b****.” And I’ve even heard, “Who cares about my ex. This new girl’s hotter.” Seriously guys? Seriously?!? Did you ever think you may have been the problem to begin with, starting with your SPEECH? Are you even hearing what’s coming out of your mouths?
“Now, I’m not saying that guys are always at fault, but here’s something I’ve noticed in my generation of young men (if they are even deserving of being called that). Also note that I am not referencing every guy I know, as I know a ton of decent guys. This message is for the average guy. You know who you are! 😉“To introduce this lengthy message, here’s the initial hook-in: Guys, girls are NOT objects. They are people, just like you. I see a bunch of guys chase after the cutest girls. They always have their lustful minds on the most eye-appealing figure to walk by. They fantasize about the most eye-appealing young lady they can imagine. That is sickening.
“Firstly, Did you ever stop and think to define beauty? Here’s the second definition of beauty: “A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense.” Do you know what qualities please the intellect or moral sense? It’s her personality. I challenge all guys to be absolutely enamored by a girls intelligent mind rather than outside looks. You should be enthralled by her love of family rather than love of fashion. Be enraptured by her sense of humor, not her sense of fashion. Be captivated by her personality, not her “hotness level.” I think every girl has a sense of beauty about her because of her personality. Now, I’m not saying anything is wrong with good looks. In fact, I think Boethius (a Christian philosopher) said it best when he said that outward beauty is a nice thing to have, but it doesn’t really matter to life. In other words, while good looks are appealing, a young lady’s true beauty shines from the person within.
“Secondly, maybe this is why y’all have so many issues with relationships. Often times, y’all “date” the cutest girl you find, and use her to please your own eyes. That’s just sick. There’s nothing wrong for appreciating a girls beauty, but using them just to please your eyes… Seriously? Like I said, girls are NOT objects. They are people. If you are selfless and constantly think of her, you’ll be quite a bit more successful. That’s what being in a relationship is all about, acting as Christ did towards the Church. We all know what He did for us. Would you be willing to do that for your “girlfriend”? Maybe you should re-evaluate your “relationship status”, or maybe, just MAYBE, contemplate the absolutely absurd notion that you may just not be quite ready for a romantic relationship! Just try grasping that idea, try.
“Finally, I want to redefine how romantic relationships in this world should work. I’ll do my best to keep sarcasm out of this paragraph (no promises). Rather than “shopping around” for “the right one”, maybe you should evaluate how relationships were actually meant to work. Maybe you could try to imagine the actual end-term goal of a relationship. What is the end result with dating? The answer I often see is heartbreak. You see, romantic relationships are NOT designed for the satisfaction of flirtation, holding hands, and other such intimacies. Relationships are designed for you to FIND A WIFE. Guys, right now is a very important time in your life. Singleness is not a curse; it’s a gift. Singleness is a time for you to strive in your academics, sports, or whatever passion that rages within you. Chase your passion during this time, and study up for your career! God has the perfect lady in mind for you. You just have to be patient and listen. Listen to Him. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.'”
Great words, Taylor! Would love to see more high school guys take a stand like yours. You may save a few friends from the sad result of destructive choices. And tell your mom and dad I say “hi.”