The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
What are your strengths? C’mon, I know you have them. That’s right! There’s something you bring to every encounter, every project, every meeting, every moment.
Knowing your strengths is a critical part of living the life you were meant to live. You see, when I don’t have a clear grasp of my abilities, I find myself easily overcome by insecurities–insecurities that rise when I feel inadequate or inferior to others. When I want to be like them–or as good as them–and find that I’m not, I feel insecure and that’s a huge trap that introduces all sorts of problems.
Insecurities drive us toward various coping strategies. We feel inadequate, so we look for familiar surroundings that make us feel better, and many of those are tragic traps. Pornography is one of the many traps laid by insecurity. In working with dozens of men in this area, I’ve observed that the lure of pornography isn’t about sexual deviance at the core. It’s about insecurity. The lurid literature or wicked websites become a hiding place where men can go to feel better–even if for only a moment that’s followed by hours of guilt.
Like alcohol, anger, or other escape routes, pornography provides a launch into a self-satisfying fantasy world where the user gets to drive. Feelings of inadequacy melt away, and for a moment, the user is in charge with all the characters on the page giving their undivided attention. That good feeling counteracts the bad feelings of that rejection and failure have brought.
So…knowing my strengths becomes a weapon against such a struggle. When I know what I offer to my daily encounters, I can bring my best and not be intimidated when someone else’s best exceeds me in my weaker areas. When I can let you be the master of your strengths while I contribute with mine, the insecurities lose their reason-for-being.
And when we’re not losing to our insecurities, the need for impure escapes is diminished.