The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
Accountability has been an important buzzword for the last few decades as men have been challenged to connect with other men in a way that can help encourage and reinforce the commitments they want to live by. It’s a good idea.
But not everyone has had a good experience with accountability groups. Some have deteriorated into controlling environments while a few others have simply added to the number of people a struggling man is lying to. Accountability doesn’t always work like we wish it would.
But it’s still a good idea and there are two types of accountability that you should consider.
1) Partner accountability. In this form of accountability, I find someone who is seeking to live by a similar code and we agree to encourage each other. Our conversations aren’t so much reporting on myself as they are sharing my success, and encouraging my friend with those victories. In partner accountability, we want the same thing so we do anything and everything necessary to get there together.
2) Friend accountability. In this form of accountability, I find someone who loves me and wants me to succeed in the goals I have chosen. This person encourages me, prays for me, and believes in me. My wife can be an accountability friend. So can my kids, coworkers. and just about anyone who is important in my life. In this type of accountability, I am motivated by my desire to succeed for them and not to fail them. Men who have failed in purity, for example, will usually insist that they weren’t thinking about their families when they made flawed choices. With this type of accountability, the odds of that are lessened.
In our efforts to be pure, self-sacrificing, loyal, and excellent in all we do, both types of accountability are useful. Find a partner and gain the support of a few friends.
Our lives touch the lives of others more than we realize. Living accountable recognizes that and uses those connections to its advantage. We weren’t made to live alone and we seldom succeed when we try. We were made for relationship, for community, so build one of those that will help you become the man you want to be.