The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
Back to the commitment of purity…
Boundaries are essential to any pursuit of purity. They are the necessary fences that keep us where we are supposed to be. Now some might think that boundaries aren’t really necessary for the “thinking” person. After all, we can make choices that are consistent with our values and we can steer clear of danger without fences.
Can we really? Have you acted dishonestly in the last week? You know, maybe told a small lie or at least avoided full disclosure of truth? Such “small” things are inconsistent with our true values, yet you and I can slip into such unhealthy patterns, depending on what we think the moment requires. Fact is, we don’t always act consistently with our values.
We need a standard outside of ourselves. That’s why the Bible is so critical to our daily lives. The Bible offers the guide for daily choices that we need. By adhering to its directives and avoiding its “thou shalt nots,” we can steer clear of the paths that will lead us where we don’t want to go. We need fences that don’t move and the Bible provides those.
I believe one of the most important boundaries for purity is to avoid “alone time” with someone of the opposite sex. Extensive time with your wife is a good thing because it provides the environment for you to grow closer. Extensive time with another woman offers that same environment and that’s not a good thing! Emotional connections can form that open doors to other thoughts and behaviors you don’t want, so build a fence at the top of that hill. Eliminate “alone time” with women other than your wife–do it as a gift to your marriage relationship!
Another good fence is to avoid certain types of conversations, even in groups. If a coworker complains about her husband, don’t let her complain to you. You may try to be understanding, but you can’t always tell when she starts seeing you on the white horse, the one she needs to rescue her. Don’t be that guy! Encourage her to talk to a woman. Let a group of women be her encouragement. Don’t engage deeply emotional conversations. Frankly, as guys we’re not equipped to navigate those waters effectively.
Make boundaries for yourself. If the internet offers your escape from purity, unplug or move your computer to the family room where accountability is greater.Take wise steps in managing your life, knowing that God’s very real enemy has been working these battles longer than you have. Satan is no match for God, but frankly, your no match for Satan so make yourself a few rules to keep you off his playing field.
Build fences that can help you be the man you want to be.