The Brotherhood – Part 151

The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.

Another storm blew through parts of the U.S. last night, destroying property and leaving the injured and dead in its wake. Last week, a pastor friend lost his life on a missions trip. A week ago, my assistant’s niece lost her 22-year old husband to a motorcycle accident. Tragedy is attacking from all sides and there is little we can do to stop it.

Some tragedies make newspaper headlines, others go largely unnoticed. Some stay hidden in the underneath places of lives, like the tragedy of a deteriorating marriage. While some unions collapse in a moment, the result of a decision of infidelity, others crumble more slowly, the result of neglect.

As a husband and head of a household, you stand in the place of greatest impact. By your thoughts and actions, you largely dictate the closeness you share with your wife. Yes, her actions play an equal role, but I’ve rarely seen a man’s genuine desire for his wife rebuffed. If you want a strong, healthy marriage and are willing to do what’s necessary to have it, well, you most likely will.

But such marriages are the product of time–in both quantity and quality. When you give your best energy to your marriage, your wife flourishes. She finds the connection she wants and needs. Neglect that and she’ll get the opposite.

For some, it’s easy to take things for granted. After all, your wife promised to always be there. The clients you chase, the work you have to do, and the possibilities you’re running after made no such promises. She has to understand, right?

Bad plan, and one that will lead you to tragedy.

The best lives are lived by giving one’s best to what’s most important. Get your life in the right order–God, marriage, everything else–and then focus your energy accordingly. Don’t let neglect, the silent killer, sneak into your marriage and slowly wreak its havoc. Be the man she needs and you’ll end up with the life you really want.


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