The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
How do you control what people say about you?
I’ve had a couple of friends encounter this challenging puzzle in the last few days. Victimized by gossip, they heard the untruths being spread about them and a justifiable frustration welled up within.
I get it. Few things irritate me more than being misunderstood or falsely accused. When someone is spreading lies or half-truths about me, I imagine tackling the offender in some accidental manner. I’m not like some who run immediately to the fray, but my fantasies are no less confrontational.
But I’ve learned that you can’t fix such things, especially when you’re a leader. The more people you influence, the more likely you are to be occasionally misunderstood, and the more common it can be to be used by some insecure person to bolster whatever they need bolstered.
You really can’t do much about…EXCEPT…you can live with integrity and trust that truth will win in all the relationships you’re really going to want. Some folks will believe anything as long as it’s juicy or controversial. They live at the water cooler so they need something to talk about there. YOu aren’t going to stop that and you’ll probably look silly trying. My dad often said, “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You just get muddy and the pig likes it.”
But when you live well and you treat people with respect, you find that those who know you will resist the gossip. They’ll stand with you and even stand up for you when necessary. Don’t try to fight those battles yourself and don’t try to organize your friends to fight them for you.
Just live well. Be the man you were made to be. Treat others the way you want to be treated and eventually you will be. People will always be people and some will try to resist your integrity or damage your reputation. But, in truth, you’re the only one who can do that, so don’t.
And know that God will ultimately make all things right. Don’t try to do it yourself ’cause the offender doesn’t really want the facts. They’re looking for mud.