The Brotherhood of the Second Cross was established on Father’s Day 2005 where 160 men stood before their wives and children to pledge themselves to purity, self-sacrifice, loyalty, and excellence. Today, hundreds more have joined the commitment.
Can you be trusted? All of us want to be and most of us would insist that those who don’t trust us just don’t know us. After all, we’re really good guys, right?
But trust isn’t automatic and in our struggling culture, it’s not handed to you. You have to earn it! Our courts may insist that you’re innocent until proven guilty, but no court will proclaim you trustworthy until you’re proven otherwise. People are waiting to see, watching your choices, and holding onto their votes in the question of your trustworthiness. You’ve got to prove something to them before they will trust you.
How do you gain trust? You’ll need to walk one of three paths:
1. Love Them – People will trust you once you demonstrate that you really care about them. Since love is best defined as self-sacrifice, it’s easiest to understand this way–when you sacrifice for someone else’s need, you begin to build trust. So you show up in their crisis, you’re a friend in their trouble, you spend time with them, and you share life with them. Where there is relationship, there can be trust because people feel that they know you.
2. Win for Them – A second path to building trust is when you demonstrate your commitment to your shared mission and you succeed in things they are committed to. When we fight for a cause together and you show the ability to succeed in that cause, people will begin to trust you. So, if its on the job and you achieve some wins for the company, people will say, “He knows what he’s doing…I trust his judgment.” At church, your efforts to reach people and help the church grow leads people to trust you in that setting. “He’s a really good Christian…he would make a good leader for our church” and so on. This isn’t the deeply personal kind of trust, but success in shared goals breeds trust.
3. Grow Them – When people grow because of your investment in them, they will trust you. After all, they are better people because of you. They have lived by the values you demonstrate and your influence has affected their lives. Essentially, they are following your life pattern (following you as you follow Christ), so you have gained a position of influence in their lives–and they trust you.
If you’re new on the job and want those you work with to trust you, choose a path–love them, succeed for them, or grow them. Choose all three and you’ll reach your goal even sooner. But if you make little or no effort in these areas, don’t expect the level of trust to rise much. Without some effort in these three areas, people have every reason to see you as another guy who’s just chasing his own good.
By the way…once you achieve trust, these three roads are also the means by which you maintain that trust. So stay on the path!!